Amazing Funny quotes (New)

by admin on

D.R.M.R.A Dumb Retards Asking for More Attention.

I want to make my name on Facebook “Nobody” so when i see someone post something stupid I can Like It, and it will say “Nobody Likes This”

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”- Phyllis Diller

I hate how chocolate melts on my fingers. I mean am I That HOT? 47 likes. I hate how chocolates immediately melt on my fingers. I mean am I THAT HOT?

I’m not crazy my reality is just different than yours.

Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

It’s all fun games cops get called.. then it’s hide seek!

If  i had  a dollar for every smart thing you’ve said I’d be poor.

Some people just need a pat on the back.

When I’m single, all I see are couples being happy when I’m dating someone, all i see are singles being happy.

“Did you just fall?” No, I attacked the floor. “Backwards?” Yes, I’m freaking talented.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in people’s eyes.

Notice be nice or leave- thank you

I don’t know who you are but i will find you  and  I will kill you.

When I’m bored, I send a text to a random number saying “I hid the body… now what ?”

why are there no fat stickmen? 

Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years.

All My Life I Thought Air Was Free. Until I Bought A Bag Of Chips.

The Shit You Hear About Me Might Be True.. but Then Again It Might Be as Fake as the Bitch Who Told You.

Where the fuck are my cookies?

This is a test if you can read this all the way down to here please.

Written by: admin