When a child is brought into the world, it’s a joyous occasion that all the family wants to share. However, it seems a one father’s newborn son can only be seen under certain circumstances.
One first-time dad insisted on some ground rules before his parents and in-laws could visit his son. Amazingly the list of requirements was quite extensive, drawing anger from the older generation.
Speaking about the incident, the father explained he “held off” on visitors for three days after his wife gave birth to a baby boy. A father’s newborn son is an important thing and daddy admitted he is a “very anxious” parent.
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So anxious that he and his wife would not let their parents check in on the infant. Before any visits were possible, a list of requirements was put in place.
The father says the “boundaries” were created because the two families are very specific. His parents are very “old fashioned and thinking letting a child eat dirt is better than any vaccine”.
As for his in-laws, they “just have a tendency to be very me me me”.
Rules for seeing the father’s newborn son
Envisioning problems with visits, the father jumped into action and sent an email with a list of requirements. However, he has faced a backlash from some, who called him rude.
- His list of rules:
- No visits if you feel ill
- Only “light” perfume to be worn, or preferably no perfume
- No children under 18 (“Schools are breeding grounds for viruses”)
- Always set a visiting time
- No gifts because they are “a hassle to bring home”
- Only visits of between 3-4 people.
Taking to Reddit, the father said his wife supported the list.
He wrote: “I felt a little overbearing, but my wife read it over and said it sounded fine.”
He adds problems were almost instant and started when his wife’s parents arrived with their grandson.
“My wife tells them that they can’t bring him in,” he says. “Their grandson starts to cry, and my mother-in-law starts to scold us for forbidding children, so my father pipes up saying that we’re being too coddling.
“Then my mother starts up and tells us that we’ve been very rude and cold and says that as grandmother, it’s her right to visit the baby when she pleases, and she shouldn’t have to ‘RSVP’ to her grandson’s birth.
“She calls me impolite for sending out a ‘demanding’ email like I did and insists that if I regulate my son as strictly as I did his visitings, he’ll grow up resenting my wife and I.
“We told them to go, and my mother told me she raised me too well to have me be so rude to my own family.
“My mother-in-law said that if my wife didn’t ‘crack down on me’, they’d never be visiting again.
“My wife has changed her tune about the whole thing and thinks I was being too combative.
“I really don’t think I was that wrong in exercising my boundaries, and I think that them not listening is proof it was needed.”
On the Reddit thread, there was a split between who was right and wrong. Many called the father rude, while others said he was just using common sense and reducing stress on mother and baby.
What do you think readers? Was this list too much just to visit the father’s newborn son, or was the new dad correct to be so cautious?