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Funniest Quotes

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Of course I talk to my self. Sometimes I need expert advice.

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That fail moment when you pull your blankets up & punch yourself In the face.

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I will slap you so hard even google wont be able to find you.

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Chocolate comes from cocoa, which Is a tree that makes It a plant… so chocolate Is a salad.

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Fating Is like the song from frozen. Work: conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know… At home: let It go! Let It go! Can’t hold It back anymore…

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Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

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I hate It when people are at your house and ask do you have a bathroom? No, we pee In the yard.

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The biggest lie I tell myself Is “I don’t need to write that down I’ll remember It”

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Common sense Is like deodorant. The people who need It most never use It.

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