HOW IN THE HELL
DO YOU STILL HAVE THE BALL?
My windows aren’t dirty…
That’s my dog’s Nose Art
I don’t always fart when you have company over but when I do, I make sure a walk out of the room so everyone thinks it’s you.
Thank god you are home…
Someone broke in and ate your rotisserie chiken again.
Get in loser
Lets pick up some bitches.
I may seem quiet and reserved, but if you mess with my dogs, I will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place.
Snoopy made this look easy.
THEY’RE NOT DANGEROUS IF YOU RAISE THEM RIGHT.
I dunno… I still think little kids are evil and dangerous no matter how you raise them. Frankly, they scare me and I’m not opposed to banning children across the world outright. Maybe we should just stick to cats and dogs after all, they’re much safer, more loyal, less expensive and just all round better.
Testing the water.
Generally, it’s a good idea to do it before you leap in!
Gets blamed for your farts
Still loves you more than your girlfriend.
I Know this looks bad, but we got a perfectly good explanation for it…
It was the cat.
And then the cat said, that’s “impawsible”
what part did you not understand?
IT’S OK BRO
Hand over da fries
an no one getz hurt.