Funny Football Team Rules Go Viral

by Luke Jones on

A list of funny football team rules has gone viral as the strict guidelines are hilarious and worse than those imposed by Premier League teams.

Elite professional football teams are noted for certain rules that players should abide by during a season. For example, pros are fined if they attend training late. However, on amateur footy team puts even the biggest clubs to shame with its draconian rules.

37-year-old Martin Theobald was looking to join a five-a-side team in his local area when he discovered one team was maybe taking things too far.

Martin was hoping to have some fun by found a team where it seems fun was off the table. The list of strict rules has been deemed hilarious by sports fans since they went viral.

Funny Football Team Rules


What Are The Funny Football Team Rules?

When Martin applied to join a local team, he was given more than he bargained for. The “Director of Football” (yes, a 5-a-side team has a director of football) sent Martin a set of rules he had to follow if he was to join.

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Of course, some basic rules on time keeping would be expected but Martin was sent a fourteen-page rule book. It contained regulations even pro footballers would laugh at.

For example, he was told players who took more than a day to reply to a WhatsApp from the club could be suspended for 32 weeks. In other words, a season ban for missing a message!

Furthermore, any replies to messages containing more than a “yes or no” would result in a three-week ban. Why? Well, “there is not time for footie chit chat”.

Questioning any of the policies in the guide would also result in a three-week ban. It seems like three-week bans were something the Director of Football enjoys because he also hands them out for wearing a scarf or hat during team meetings.


No Thanks

Martin wrote: “I recently enquired to a football team, bit of 5-a-side fun. What I got in response is biblical.

“A 14-page club guide. One four. For a 5-a-side team. Within it absolute footballing gold, the highlights of which I am now going to share with you….”

We are hardly surprised to see Martin decided not to join the team. In fact, we are wondering which poor players ever took up the offer of joining this sports regime.

He said: “I’ve played football at various levels over the last 25 years, kid through to adults 11-a-side, through to 5-a-side, and now veterans football.

“Fair to say I have never come across such a stringent set of rules.”

What do think? Do you agree with these funny football team rules, or would you prefer to have fun playing sports?

Written by: Luke Jones

Luke is a professional writer who is always on the lookout for fun stories all around the world, including all the latest in the world of celebrities. You can contact Luke at