Funny life quotes

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When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.

Mad? Don’t count to 10. Just look at bunny. All better now?

When life puts you in tough situations, don’t say “why me”, say “try me

Old people at Weddings always poke me and say “You’re Next.” So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

3 most difficult things to do in the world:
1. You can’t count your hair.
2. You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
3. You can’t breath when your tongue is out.

Now please put your tongue back inside..

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years.

It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. W. Somerset Maugham.

I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode.

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When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children. Just like it says on the bottle.

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you can’t be sad when you’re holding a cupcake.

You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.

A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

Monday-u9hh its Monday.Tuesday-well at least its Tuesday.Wednesday-wow,its already Wednesday. Thursday-hey,tomorrow’s Friday! Friday- :d yes weekend! Saturday-party-Sunday-crap tomorrow’s Monday

When Life Gives You Lemons, Make a Crude Electrochemical Battery

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