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Funny or Die Quotes

Funny or Die (1)

I THINK FORTUNE COOKIES LIE.

 

Funny or Die (1)

WHEN I DIE WILL SOMEONE PLEASE GO TO MY FUNERAL DRESSED LIKE THE GRIM REAPER? DON’T SAY ANYTHING JUST STAND THERE.

 

Funny or Die (1)

CAPTAIN PLANET RETURNS.

 

Funny or Die (2)

I WANT A HOUSE , A NEW CAR, A PLASMA TV TO BE FREE TO BE HAPPY.

 

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Funny or Die (3)

GORDA I LOVE U, BECAUSE YOUR MY RIDE OR DIE CHICK<3


Funny or Die (4)

YEAH, WELL ,LISTEN. YOU OUGHT TO DITCH THE TWO GEEKS YOU’RE IN THE CAR WITH NOW AND GET IN WE’LL WORRY ABOUT THAT LATER. I WILL SEE YOU THERE. ALL RIGHT?

 

Funny or Die (5)

THAN OTHERS. THAT’S THE MARK OF A TRUE.

 

Funny or Die (6)

DON’T BE SAD BECAUSE OF PEOPLE –THEY WILL ALL DIE.

 

Funny or Die (7)

WHEN I DIE , I WANT MY TOMBSTONE TO OFFER FREE WIFI,JUST SO PEOPLE WILL VISIT MORE OFTEN.

 

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WHEN I WAS BORN , I WAS SO SURPRISED , I DIDN’T TALK FOR A YEAR AND A HALF.

 

Funny or Die (9)

WHEN  I’m SINGLE, ALL I SEE ARE COUPLES BEING HAPPY. WHEN I’M DATING SOMEONE, ALL I SEE ARE SINGLES BEING HAPPY.

 

Funny or Die (10)

FOD NEWS SPECIAL REPORT,  PRES. BUSH ANNOUNCES GOPHER KILLED.

 

Funny or Die (11)

“TWITTER IS STUPID, AND INSTAGRAM IS TWITTER FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN’T READ”

 

Funny or Die (12)

I WOULD LIKE TO THINK I WILL DIE A HEROIC DEATH, BUT IT’S MORE LIKELY I ‘II TRIP OVER MY DOG AND CHOKE ON A SPOONFUL OF FROSTING.

 

Funny or Die (13)

I’M NOT AFRAID TO DIE. I JUST DON’T LIKE THE THOUGHT OF BEING GONE SO LONG!.

 

Funny or Die (14)

“IT’S NOT THAT I ‘M AFRAID TO DIE .JUST DON’T WANT TO BE THERE WHEN IT HAPPENS”. – WOODY ALLEN

 

Funny or Die (15)

I HEARD SHE USES INTERNET EXPLORER LOL

 

Funny or Die (16)

WHEN I DIE I WANT MY LAST WORDS TO BE, “I LEFT A MILLION DOLLARS UNDER THE…”

 

Funny or Die (17)

HAHA DIE BITCH, DIE.

 

Funny or Die (18)

DIE, DIE, DIE MY DARLING.

Funny or Die (19)

 

SORRY I DIDN’T GET YOUR TEXT, JUST KIDDING I IGNORED THAT SHIT.

 

Funny or Die (20)

IF I DIE, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DEATH —-, TO DIE THE EXERCISR OF YOUR PASSION. –PHILIPPE PETIT

 

Funny or Die (21)

 

COOL BRO…..

See also:

Best Funny Quotes Part One

Funny Happiness quotes

Top 50 Funny quotes – part 1

Top 50 Funny quotes – part 2

Top 50 Funny quotes – part 3 (Last Part)

Sad Quotes

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