Funny or Die Quotes

by admin on

I THINK FORTUNE COOKIES LIE.

 

WHEN I DIE WILL SOMEONE PLEASE GO TO MY FUNERAL DRESSED LIKE THE GRIM REAPER? DON’T SAY ANYTHING JUST STAND THERE.

 

CAPTAIN PLANET RETURNS.

 

I WANT A HOUSE , A NEW CAR, A PLASMA TV TO BE FREE TO BE HAPPY.

 

GORDA I LOVE U, BECAUSE YOUR MY RIDE OR DIE CHICK<3

YEAH, WELL ,LISTEN. YOU OUGHT TO DITCH THE TWO GEEKS YOU’RE IN THE CAR WITH NOW AND GET IN WE’LL WORRY ABOUT THAT LATER. I WILL SEE YOU THERE. ALL RIGHT?

 

THAN OTHERS. THAT’S THE MARK OF A TRUE.

 

DON’T BE SAD BECAUSE OF PEOPLE –THEY WILL ALL DIE.

 

WHEN I DIE , I WANT MY TOMBSTONE TO OFFER FREE WIFI,JUST SO PEOPLE WILL VISIT MORE OFTEN.

 

WHEN I WAS BORN , I WAS SO SURPRISED , I DIDN’T TALK FOR A YEAR AND A HALF.

 

WHEN  I’m SINGLE, ALL I SEE ARE COUPLES BEING HAPPY. WHEN I’M DATING SOMEONE, ALL I SEE ARE SINGLES BEING HAPPY.

 

FOD NEWS SPECIAL REPORT,  PRES. BUSH ANNOUNCES GOPHER KILLED.

 

“TWITTER IS STUPID, AND INSTAGRAM IS TWITTER FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN’T READ”

 

I WOULD LIKE TO THINK I WILL DIE A HEROIC DEATH, BUT IT’S MORE LIKELY I ‘II TRIP OVER MY DOG AND CHOKE ON A SPOONFUL OF FROSTING.

 

I’M NOT AFRAID TO DIE. I JUST DON’T LIKE THE THOUGHT OF BEING GONE SO LONG!.

 

“IT’S NOT THAT I ‘M AFRAID TO DIE .JUST DON’T WANT TO BE THERE WHEN IT HAPPENS”. – WOODY ALLEN

 

I HEARD SHE USES INTERNET EXPLORER LOL

 

WHEN I DIE I WANT MY LAST WORDS TO BE, “I LEFT A MILLION DOLLARS UNDER THE…”

 

HAHA DIE BITCH, DIE.

 

DIE, DIE, DIE MY DARLING.

 

SORRY I DIDN’T GET YOUR TEXT, JUST KIDDING I IGNORED THAT SHIT.

 

IF I DIE, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DEATH —-, TO DIE THE EXERCISR OF YOUR PASSION. –PHILIPPE PETIT

 

 

COOL BRO…..

See also:

Best Funny Quotes Part One

Funny Happiness quotes

Top 50 Funny quotes – part 1

Top 50 Funny quotes – part 2

Top 50 Funny quotes – part 3 (Last Part)

Sad Quotes

Written by: admin