Sometimes I just need a contraption like this…
Everything was going fine until she came along.
What if Pinocchio said “my nose is going to grow now”
Go away, bear you already drunk.
When you accidently touch a piece of gum under a desk.
When one door closes , another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s hoe doors work.
So let me get this right you got the new Iphone and your fridge Is empty?
After Tuesday , even the calendar goes WTF
How I feel when bae plays with my hair.
As soon as you finish putting my diaper on I will shit.
Excuse me there seems to be a face on your makeup.
Dance like no one is watching… Because they ate not .. they are checking their phone.
Dude, I just peed on that…
Common sense Is like deodorant. The people who need It most never use It.
Wlcome to a relationship, Where I’M always worng and logic doesn’t matter.
They say that love Is more Important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness In the world . Now tha I’m grown up, I know I was right.