Like my father always used to say, If you want someone to look you In the eye make sure that your mouth smells exactly like your butt.
Dear Diary – the cat is a curious magical creature. It’s as if a teddy bear mated with a cactus and it’s much less fun to play with then it would appear and yet it poops delicious candy into a box of pee flavored sprinkles. Dearest human guards these treats jealousy, often harvesting them into a barrel, but I will admit that I sneak one from time to time. They are delicious, forgive me.
A dog’s purpose (from a 6- year-old) people are born so they can learn to live a good life. Dogs already know how to do that, that’s why they don’t have to stay as long.
When people aren’t having any fun, they seldom produce good work. Kill the grimness with laughter. Encourage exuberance. Get rid of sad dogs that spread gloom. – David Ogilvy