Top 50 Funny quotes - part 1

I need a vacation, twice a year

That fail moment when you pull your blankets up & punch yourself in the face.

Thanks to facebook. I now know what everyone bathroom looks like!

common sense is like deodorant. the people who need it most never use it.

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.

life is short . smile while you still have teeth.

on the internet you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

All my life i thought air was free… until i bought a bag of chips.

I’m not lazy I’m just on my energy saving mode

cherrybam.com

Time is precious…waste it wisely

You look really funny doing that with your head..

I don’t have an attitude problem. you have a problem with my attitude and that’s not my problem.

My friend thinks he’s smart, he said onions are the only food that make you cry. So i threw a coconut at his face.

I can’t take this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge, you’re coming to my room.

I do not get drunk – I get awesome.

Top 50 Funny quotes – part 1