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Top 50 Funny quotes – part 2

by admin on

006A man came to my door and asked if i could donate to the local swimming pool and i came back with a glass of water.

aaa

why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so near to Monday?

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Math Mental abuse to humans

Funny-quotes-Breaking-newsBreaking news: i just found out there is nothing wrong with me, it is the world that has issues 😉

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SayingImages.com

my week is basically :

*Monday

*Monday#2

*Monday#3

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*Monday#4

*Friday

*Saturday

*pre-Monday

Funny-Quotes-3 (1)Its funny how when Im loud, people tell me to quiet, but when i am quiet, people ask me whats wrong with me.

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Only 2 things can a woman’s mood

I love you

2-50% discount

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CooInsmart.com

I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.

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The most romantic love story isn’t Romeo and Juliet who died together…but grandpa and grandma who grew old together.

unnamed (1)Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Funny-quotes-Collection-of-top-40-most-funniest-quotes-of-all-time-35The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.

images (20)I you a question (but i’ll shave it for later)

Funny_Quotes_20140124_FunnyQuotesThat moment when you talk to yourself and you start smiling like an idiot because you’re just so hilarious.

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…nervous?

A little bit…

your first time?

No, i’ve been nervous before

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So if guns kill people i guess pencils miss spell words, cars drive drunk, and spoons make people fat.

funny-quotes-how-to-tell-someone-their-breath-stinks

how to tell someone that their breath stinks without hurting their feelings. “well i’m bored, let’s go brush our teeth!’

images (3).Sometimes i pretend to be normal. But it gets boring so i go back to being me.

Funny-Quotes-7Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person.

Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

Funny-Quote-My-wallet-is-like-an-onionMy wallet is like an onion when i open it it makes me cry.

See Also:

Funny or Die Quotes

Top 50 Funny quotes – part 1

Top 50 Funny quotes – part 3 (Last Part)

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Written by: admin