I don’t need a birthday, I buy myself all of the presents I need and because of my drinking, they are often a surprise.
Dress every day like you gonna get murdered In those clothes.
My Incompetence knows no bounds.
A book hasn’t caused me this much trouble since waldo went to that pole factory.
You just shot at the wrong motherfucker, motherfucker.
Sorry It took me so long to answer, I was just thinking about how weird It Is that we eat birds.
I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs. I watched a prostitute stab a clown. Our basketball hoop was a ribcage. A ribcage! Some guy with dreads electrocuted my fish. I’ve seen a blind guy bite a police horse. A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom. I once bit into a burrito and there was a child’s shoe in it. I’ve seen a hooker eat a tire. A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s. The sewer people stole my skateboard. The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time. I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo. THEY WERE VERY DRUNK!